Day 38 -- Sleep

9:30 am with Lenette

I got almost 7 hours sleep last night (well, probably more than six), which may be a record for the week, but it was still not enough, as I will explain.  Driving to class, I just felt tired.  I didn't have any particular soreness issues other than the usual:  a tightness in my right heel, tenderness in my left knee, and some general stiffness in the back and shoulders.

From what I've read, the second thirty days of the challenge start to get at emotional issues.  So far, this has been pretty much a nothing for me.  I don't feel like breaking down to cry at all,  and I rarely get any sort of emotional release directly from doing the poses.  Today, I might have approached something like that.  From the beginning of the class, I resented being in the room.  It wasn't that is was hot, or particularly hard, or anything physical at all.  I just hated being there, or having to be there, or something.  It was silly, and it was getting in the way, but there it was.  

It started from the outset, and then really crystallized in the first forward bend.  That first bend has steadily become grown into a moment of dread for me.  Today, I started to go forward and... nothing.  My hands at first could barely go to the middle of my calves.  By the time we were done with the little shuffle warm-up, I had only barely managed to get my hands on the floor and move my hips a little, and I could then only barely get my fingers under the sides of my feet for the posture.  With my attitude of resentment, this meant that I was going BACKWARDS, and what was the point of coming every day if I was just gonna get worse.

The same sort of thing crept more or less into everything, peaking with the separate leg stretching, where again I could barely do the forward bend in the first set, and started feeling more resentful about being there and getting worse.  But more, it was just about being there.  I basically just wanted to go back to bed and forget about locking my @#$%& knee.

Then, somehow, in Triangle it all melted away and I regained some concentration.  But I can't even say that it was a typical concentration.  All of a sudden, none of the stuff that was bothering me mattered, and I was just doing it.  I say I was concentrating, but it wasn't any kind of active concentration or focus.  I was just sort of going with things.  From there on, the class just got better and better, with a few weird spots.

First the weirdness:  I fell asleep twice.  First, in the 20 second Savasana between Fixed Firm and Cobra.  The clap telling people to go into the sit up woke me up.  And then again, between Camel and Rabbit of all things, I just sort of nodded off.  I know you are supposed to relax in between poses, but this was sort of ridiculous.  In the other Savasanas, I was awake but I think I was totally still.  I was aware of Lenette's voice, but probably of nothing else.  This was a strange new thing for me, but it was very cool and I definitely liked it.

Then, the good stuff.  I had probably my best back strengthening series.  I think I went further in every single one of the poses, even Locust.  In Full Locust, I felt up almost only on my hips, and it looked like there was an actual arch going on in my back, and much further down than usual.  It both felt and looked better than it has before.  And also in floor bow, there was more of an arch shape, and a balanced shape, than I've seen before.  And when I was kicking up, it actually felt like my feet and legs were moving up. 

And of course, after class as usual I felt really good.  The knee locking has now made both knees a bit sore in the back.  But it's definitely not injury.  So all is well.