138/157 A Hot One

6:30 pm with Miranda

We started at about 104 and 45% humidity, and it just kept getting hotter.  At Camel, Miranda opened the door to let in some cool air, and it still got hotter.  I don't know where it peaked, but my guess is somewhere around 107, and the humidity never went down.  It started to get to me in the floor series, but I tried to stay focused and dealt with it pretty well.

On the good side, I was much more flexible than recently.  Rabbit seemed especially easy.  And I got deeper into the left side of the final stretch.  I'm not fully extended yet, but I'm much closer to the floor.  In the worst days of my sciatic injury, the knee made about a 90 degree angle in this one.  Now, I can almost get it down all the way.  And I got back easily on the elbows in second set of fixed firm.

Balancing series, however, was not very good.  After a bad first set of Standing Head to Knee, I just locked the knee without kicking out for the second set, and managed to hold the balance both times.  Standing Bow was a little better.  I fell out once in each part, but held it pretty well before falling forward.  And I did fall forward, which is supposed to be good.  Balancing Stick was good, as it usually is when the other parts are not.

This was the first class that I've taken immediately after taking my dogs to the park.  It was about 50 degrees out, and I played with them without gloves.  Then I rushed off to class.  Bad idea.  The first 20 minutes, my hands had to adjust to the change from 50 degrees to 105 degrees, and they were burning up as a result.  It was fairly painful, and it didn't seem like there was anything to do about it.  The grips in the early poses made it even worse.  So from now on here's an important safety tip:  don't jump from an extended stay in cooler weather directly into the hot room.

For some reason the other stupid thing I did wasn't nearly as bad.  I left the studio still in my sweaty shorts and shirt, basically drenched, when it was mid 40s outside.  And that doesn't bother me at all.  Not sure why that change in temperature seems so much easier to take, but there it is.

137/156 A Beginner Again

9:30 am with Connease

I set up in the back.  The room was cold.  It started at 85 degrees and 45% humidity, and probably never got over 100.  At the end of class, it was 96 and 44% humidity.  Lukewarm and humid are not a good combination for me.  It means having a sweat and feeling a little chilled at the same time.

On top of that, I just felt weak for some reason.  And so the entire practice was like I was back at square one.  I couldn't balance at all -- I must have fallen out of Standing Head to Knee 20 or more times, all tolled.  I skipped the last part of Triangle, and a whole set of Standing Head to Knee.  I dropped out early on the first set of Locust.  It was like old times.

On the plus side, Connease gives really good corrections and pays attention to details that I haven't heard before.  She corrected my hip alignment in Half Moon, then my knee locking (right leg of course) in Standing Bow, and then my set up in the final seated Head to Knee pose.  There were other corrections along the way, but those were the ones that gave me a bit of new info on doing the poses.

Even though class was sub-par, I felt really good afterwards.  And I've noticed that before on days when I had to sit out a pose for some reason.  Sitting out means that for whatever reason I've really pushed to the edge that day.  And maybe that extra effort (or what seems like extra effort on days when I'm a bit out of it) is what makes the difference after class.  The implication, I guess is that I should push even harder on days when I've got everything together.

Connease talked today about finding a still point in each of the poses.  She said that you always want to find a point where you are uncomfortable, but still, and able to breathe.  Then she said that often this is a point that sits on the edge between Fear and Ego.  Fear prevents people from going deep into poses, while Ego tempts them to go to far.  So the trick is to push past your fear while not going to far simply to indulge your Ego.  She said it better, and I'm just paraphrasing, but I really like the idea.   

In some ways, I think I probably hurt my knee because I pushed poses like Fixed Firm too hard.  And that was ego driven:  I really wanted to be deep in that pose so I probably forced it.  Now, I tend to ride the other side of that edge.  I'm a bit wary of pushing too hard and may tend to remain too much in the comfort zone.  So the trick is finding that middle area.

136/154

4:30 pm with Miranda

It looks like everyone in town is getting sick.  Amy's little girl has pneumonia, her boy has had a high fever, and both she and her husband have a cold/fever.  Yesterday, Lenette was talking about how she was just getting over a cold.  Another student almost dropped in class yesterday -- also a victim of this cold.  And today, Miranda gave a really good dialogue between coughs and sniffles.

I focused on being happy to be there.  It didn't take as much effort as I thought.  That might be because I like afternoon classes better, and it might be because the heat was perfect.  I'd like to think its because I really was happy to be there.  A few times I drifted away into thoughts outside class, but that's pretty much par for the course.  But there wasn't any time in the class when I started feeling sorry for myself.  Just that slight adjustment makes everything so much better, and its amazing how much it really is under my control.  Of course, there are some pretty serious implications for this insight outside of the yoga room...

Class itself was good.  Half moon was better than usual.  My form is getting better and I feel like I'm starting to open in the chest a bit.  The depth is coming.

Balancing series was mediocre.  I had two really good sides on Standing Bow, with a really intense stretch that I was able to hold.  I had one really good part for Standing Head to Knee, and then lost my balance again and again in the next three parts.

In Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee, I had a choice.  I was aware of the salty sweat running into my eyes, and my cramped breath.  I was also aware of a really good stretching feeling in my hamstring and hip.  Ordinarily, I might just focus on the stinging in the eyes or the lack of air.  Instead, I focused on how good the stretch felt and on breathing into the slight burning sensation in my legs.  I don't know if that made the posture any better, but it made a world of difference for the practice overall.  I came out of the posture feeling energized instead of beat. 

This change meant I was already recharging well before Savasana.  As a result, I think I may have been able to put a bit more into the back strengthening series, and I had a really good floor series overall.  I went back on my elbows in second set of Fixed Firm.  I'm just fine in Japanese Sitting Position for the final breathing exercise.  Overall, a very satisfying practice, and I've felt really great since class.

135/153 Frequency, Precision, Intensity

10:30 am with Lenette

Good class.  It started out really hot -- 107 and 40% humidity.  But Lenette has a knack for getting things just right.  The humidity blowers are not going full time now that the outside temperatures have dropped some.  As a result, my favorite spot has moved from under the blowers, to anywhere under one of the moving fans.

Before class, Lenette told me that my left knee has been locking really well recently, and now I have to bring the same focus to my right knee.  Then during class she showed me what she meant.  I have a tendency to bend the right knee when I kick out in Standing Head to Knee, because I can't get my left lifted leg up straight.  So I bend the knee some to compensate.  She forced me to lock it, which makes the kicking out even harder.  And in Standing Bow, I have a bit of the same problem.  Lack of flexibility in the lifted leg is causing me to compromise some on the anchor.

Balancing series was average today.  I made it all the way through on maybe one part in each pose.  The rest of the standing series was also average, except for Triangle.  I got a really good set up, and fell into the pose very naturally.  There were some nice triangles within the Triangle, and I felt like I could hold it for a long time.  On the down side, I didn't attempt Toe Stand.  I can't say what it is that makes me try it sometimes and not others, but for now I'm trusting my instincts and staying on the safe side.

Floor series was good.  Sometime in Cobra, I had a sort of revelatory change in attitude.  Basically, out of nowhere, I decided that it was a privilege to be able to be in the room, and that I would do much better in class if I just came to each pose with the idea that it was an honor and a pleasure to be able to do this right now.  Lately, I think I've been beating myself down some by focusing on the lack of breakthroughs, the effort and pain of the postures, and other negative things.  And that's just so wrong, and ultimately could poison the whole practice.  The reason I keep coming every day is not only because of the benefits I'm getting outside of class, but because at a deep level  I really like doing this stuff.  And since that's true at a deep level, I might as well bring that to the surface.   Anyway, just being happy about doing the poses made the floor series much better.

Lenette recently came from a retreat in Minnesota where Emmy Cleaves (the amazing octagenarian yogi) and Rajahsheree (Bikram's wife and I've probably misspelled the name) taught.  Emmy said that a practice will succeed if there are three elements:  frequency, precision and intensity.  

According to Lenette, anything from 3 times a week and up is enough to satisfy the frequency requirement.  More is better, up to a point.  And the more you do, the more important it is that you be precise.  Because if the precision is not there, its easy to overdo things.  

Precision, to my way of thinking, is probably the hardest thing to achieve and it may be the most important.  It insures safety, and is the only way to guarantee progress.  Also developing a habit of precision may be the quickest way of learning mental discipline and focus.  Of the three elements she mentions, I think precision is the hardest, and its what can keep the 26 postures interesting for so long.

Intensity may be the easiest of these to achieve.  My objection to this element is that it is so easy to be too intense.  I think Emmy would probably answer that, with precision, you cannot be too intense.  (Or conversely, if your practice becomes so intense that you lose control of your breath or your movements, then you have lost the necessary precision.)

Today, I was thinking about this as it relates to attitude.  And I think its clear that a bad attitude infects and threatens all three of these elements.  Beating myself up over lack of progress, or just focusing on unpleasant things could 1) make me come to class less often; 2) come out of poses early or tend to cheat either to relax or to give myself the illusion of going deeper than I'm able; and 3) take it easy from time to time, or push too hard to force a breakthrough for which I'm not ready.  So, if possible, I'm going to try to get back to the attitude that I'm just happy to be here.

134/152

9:30 am Saturday with Lenette

2:30 pm Sunday with Miranda

These were two very different classes.  Yesterday it was hot, and tough, and I felt pretty good throughout.   Today, it started out cold and gradually warmed up.  The class did not seem objectively as tough, but I was having some troubles toward the end.  I think the problem today was the lack of a good warm up.

Before class I was talking to a woman who has practiced in 6 different studios, including two in Boston, one in Dubai of all places, and the downtown studios here in Houston.  She said that this was the coolest of any of the places she has practiced, and also said that its the only studio she has been in with fans.  In Dubai, she said the studio was hotter, but to get it to that temperature, they still had to use air conditioners.  Outside, it was typically 12o degrees when she went to class. 

Yesterday, Lenette said that she had heard several people ask her to give other teachers some lessons on controlling the heat, because some classes have been too cold.  Her answer was that, to a large extent, you can control your own heat through your breathing.  (Other yoga practices use the throat breathing we do in pranayama to help warm up their bodies, and it definitely works.)  And since we have our own internal mechanisms that can add to the heat, she suggested that we stop bitching and do our yoga.  Very funny.

As for the yoga, yesterday I felt hot and a bit weak, but more flexible than usual.  So I did well in the poses that emphasize stretching, but had what seemed like a weak back strengthening series, awkward pose, triangle, etc...  Balancing was mediocre.  Nothing really stood out.

This morning, it was quite the opposite.  I felt really strong, and did great in the strength poses.  But I wasn't very flexible at all, I think because of the lack of heat (it finally got up to about 100 or 101), and because that led to less of a warm up.  Balancing was very good today.  I only made it completely through one part each of Standing Head to Knee and Standing Bow.  But I came close on all the other parts.  When I fell out in Standing Head to Knee it was because I was trying at the end to lock my kicking leg.  And in Standing Bow I fall out because the stretch just starts to get too intense in the standing leg and butt.

132/149

8:15 pm with Miranda

All day I had a kind of deep pain in my left hip socket, so I was a bit anxious about class.  I didn't feel any pain in the hip at all during class.  That made me thing that yoga had once again cured a temporary problem.  But now the pain is back.  It's not bad, but its like something deep in my hip wants to open up, and it isn't quite there.

I set up in the back tonight.  And, as always, it was harder to focus and I did not fare as well in the balancing poses.  The rest of the class went really well though, especially in the parts where I got physical corrections from Miranda.  First, she helped out in the first forward bend, and once again I came just shy of locking my knees.  Then she put all her weight on my legs during Wind Relieving.  She's done that several times, and it always feels good.  Tonight I almost got contact between knee and shoulder, and there's no way I can get nearly that deep without help.

Then the new correction came in Floor Bow.  She pushed forward and up on my ankles, driving me onto my chest and getting my feet up higher than I ever thought they would go.  It felt absolutely amazing.  Now I'm a little bit aware of some tenderness in my lower back, which might be from that, but it was definitely worth it.

On my own I had some good moments as well.  From a distance my half moon is starting to look more round.  I still think this is one of the hardest poses in the series.  I've worked hard at getting the form better, and the good form set back my apparent depth for a while.  Now I'm probably 20-30 degrees above parallel from the floor with my arms, but my elbows are locked, my knees are locked, I'm reaching pretty strongly with the hands, and I have almost no collapse in the waist on the short side.

The other pose that was good tonight was Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee.  I actually locked my knee on the right side.  I might have done that once in a Zeb class during the challenge.  Then the sciatic pain killed the pose for the longest time.  Now, its stronger, at least on the right side than its ever been.  On the left side, my knee isn't bent quite so pathetically as before.  And I'm getting closer to keep my arms locked throughout the pose.

Finally, going back to last night's post.  I think the reason I was never able to understand the words in the line of that song is because they just don't make sense to me.  That made me think that maybe the same thing happens sometimes with the Bikram dialogue.  I have several times heard something new in the dialogue, even though its clear that I have heard the words many times before.  And the reason I suddenly hear it as new, I think, is because it suddenly makes sense,  perhaps because my body has reached a point where I am able to make sense out of it.  This is interesting, but shouldn't be that surprising.  It just shows a deep connection between the mind, the senses, and the body -- a connection deeper than a purely intellectual approach might suppose.

131/148 The Tropic of Sir Galahad

8:30 am with Lenette

Really good class this morning.  The heat was perfect.  It started out hard: Lenette took us through more repetitions of pranayama than usual, and its amazing how hard that breathing gets with just a few extra repetitions.

My balance was back.  I did all four sides of Standing Head to Knee without falling out.  And I held the kicked out leg the full time on two of the four.  Only did half as well on Standing Bow, but it was still an improvement on recent days.  And Balancing Stick was good, which almost never happens when the others go well.

The rest of the standing series was strong, and I ended again on Toe Stand, without any pain.  My left knee is popping alot, but it doesn't hurt at all.

In the floor series, Lenette told a strange story.  Her sister runs a studio in Idaho.  There's a student there who has been going every day for five years, at least.  She also runs, goes to the gym, and does other sports.  She has been very unforgiving of herself and very critical.  Recently, Lenette's sister has been pushing the idea that how you think during your practice has a direct effect on the practice itself.  So if you beat yourself up mentally while practicing, you actually take away the benefit of the yoga.  In line with this, she's been getting her students to focus on their thought processes as they are practicing.  With this student, during Half Tortoise, she was trying to get the woman's bunched up shoulders and back to relax, using a physical correction, while at the same time encouraging the woman to relax her body and her thoughts.  

The woman came out of the pose with a kind of light in her face.  She didn't know where she was.  She recovered from that, but after class didn't know where her purse was.  Then she denied that the purse in the corner was hers, until they showed her her wallet with her driver's license.  Then, when she didn't know which car was hers, and didn't know where she lived, they took her to the hospital.  It turned out that she got some kind of transient amnesia that the doctor's could not explain.  It gradually went away over the course of about a week.

Since that moment, her practice has jumped by leaps and bounds, as has her attitude.  She's able to accept herself now, warts and all, and isn't constantly punishing herself over her limitations.

Lenette said that this woman's epiphany (she didn't use that word) came from a sudden connection of her mind and body, that opened up some of the power of her soul.  She suddenly got access to what was always inside her, or as Lenette quoted America "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have."

I think she may be right, and the line from America is fabulous.  I also think the amnesia was another layer of denial.  It was like a temporary mental bandage, giving her time to ease into her realization.  Anyway, I think its a cool story about the power of this yoga.

And as much as I like that line from America, the next line may be the worst line from any song ever:  "And cause never was the reason for the evening, or the Tropic of Sir Galahad."  It's non-sensical, not grammatical, and it isn't even fun.  I didn't even really know what the line was, so after class I asked Lenette if she knew, and she hummed through the first line and then said "And blah, blah blah something something Sir Galahad."   Which is about what I knew.  So I looked it up on Google tonight, and realized that its so terrible that I've probably been blocking it out of my mind so I wouldn't have to think about it.

130/146

Sunday 2:30 with Miranda

Monday 10:30 with Miranda

After doing so well in Standing Head to Knee, my balance was really off in the last two classes.  Today I didn't even make it through a single set of either Standing Head to Knee or Standing Bow.  In Standing Head to Knee, I think I'm finally grabbing my foot down far enough away from the toe.  And getting the grip right has thrown off my balance some.  So progress in one area has caused a temporary setback in another.

Sunday's class was fun.  There were more than 40 people in the room and the energy was really good.  The temperature was good.  No one was sitting out, and the class basically flew by.  At this point I don't remember many of the specifics, but I felt really good, if a bit wiped out, afterwards.

Today's class was more of a challenge, maybe because of the morning.  It started off well.  I really tried to relax my upper back more in the first backbend, and it seemed to make a difference.  That's one of the poses that I haven't focused very much on, probably because I think I'm so inept at it.  And also, I have really no idea what I look like while doing it, but it doesn't feel like I'm very deep into it.  Also, that backbend almost always gives me a feeling of astonishment as I come out of it.  It's a really weird feeling that I've been getting used to, although Im not sure that that's the right word, because I still feel a bit dizzy/disoriented every time we come out of that pose.

Balancing series was not good.  I had very little balance at all, and fell out alot.  But then, Balancing Stick was good today.  I still can't figure out why I do well at Balancing Stick when I stink at the other two, and vice versa.  It's a puzzle to me.

The good news is that I tried Toe Stand again, probably for the first time in about a month.  I got down onto my heel on both sides, but couldn't balance at all.  Going down on the left knee felt a bit strange, and the knee popped pretty loudly toward the end.  But it didn't hurt, and I haven't felt any ill effects afterwards.  Bikram's book says that this pose really strengthens the knees, so I'd like to continue trying it, provided I don't make my left knee any worse.

In the floor series I'm starting to feel some new things.  In Locust, the last couple of days, I'm getting a cramp under my left shoulder blade.  This probably means that I'm finally working my upper back, so to that extent its a good sign.  But I could do without the cramping.   Then in Floor Bow, I've started trying to kick more, and this has caused some cramping in my left calf.  I'm not sure what this means.  And I'm getting cramps in my feet during Fixed Firm, and setting up for Camel.  Maybe I need more potassium.  I'll give that a shot (Banana time), and see if the cramps are from exertion, lack of electrolytes, or a combination.

One thing I love to see is how much our teachers care about teaching.  Yesterday, Miranda was trying to come up with an easy way to show people where to focus their eyes in Toe Stand.  It's not a big deal, but it shows that she really cares about people's form.  And then today, Lenette took Miranda's 8:30 am class, and was giving her some advice and praise after the class.   Seeing them help each other out left me with a very warm feeling.

128/144

2:30 pm with Miranda

I took yesterday off.  I'm following a similar rule to what I do in Final Savasana.  In Final Savasana, as long as I feel like I need to get out of the room, I stay.  I can only leave when I'm comfortable staying.  Two days ago, I didn't really feel like going to class, so I went.  Yesterday, however, I would have been fine either way, so it was OK to take off the day.

Class was really good today.  I started off well in Pranayama.  I've been doing this harder than usual recently, and really feeling a stretch in my ribcage.  I don't often get the dizzy feeling they talk about, but sometimes I feel like I might be on the verge of it.

The breakthrough, of sorts, came in Standing Head to Knee.  I made it through all four sides of the posture without falling out.  The first three parts were really strong, especially kicking out the right leg.  On the left side kick out, I could only hold the kickout for about half the time, but managed to keep my balance and my standing leg locked, while retreating into the first position.  And in the last part, the retreat was comical.  I almost lost my balance, and bent my leg sort of sideways to keep myself up, then managed to pull it back together out of sheer determination.  So it wasn't pretty, but it's still a first.

Then, of course, Standing Bow was almost a complete bust.  Actually it wasn't that bad, but I fell out of each part about 5 seconds before Miranda called change.  And in one part, I was much worse than that, falling out a couple of times.  But I guess that's what I get for congratulating myself so much over Standing Head to Knee.

Triangle was also really good today.  Miranda came and put my stretching up arm into the proper position, and it made the tension/pain of the stretch just a bit more exquisite.  As much as this pose hurts (and its the set-up that hurts me much more than the pose itself), it has come to be one of my favorite poses.  More than any other pose, this one feels both like I'm working really, really hard and also like I could hold it for a very long time if necessary.  You can't really hold the other ones that work you so hard:  Balancing Stick, Locust, Full Locust, second part of Awkward.  Well, maybe some folks could and I'm beginning to see how it could be possible in Awkward, but the others are way too intense right now for me to think about holding them for minutes.

Fixed Firm took a step back.  My knee was feeling a bit worse today, and it was cracking alot in a new way.  So I couldn't get as deep as I have been, but its not a major setback and I don't feel like I've re-injured anything.

In the final stretching poses, Miranda came by and started to pull my heels forward a bit.  Afterward, for a few moments, I felt like I had been on a rack.  She obviously knew where to stop because nothing got hurt.  But the stretch was amazing.  I'm probably supposed to remember the feeling and try to get to it on my own, but I don't know if I can do that.  In India, Yoga is a one on one experience between a guru and his (almost always his) student.  I sometimes wonder how different that sort of experience would be, and how much faster, if at all, the progress would be.  Someday, I'm going to take a private lesson, or share one, to see what the individualized attention for a full class would be like.

128/142 Back on Track

8:15 pm with Amy

This past week, and even today, I have been a little less enthusiastic than usual about going to class.  Today, I was 50/50 on whether to go at all.  And then class just raced by, and was really satisfying.   Even though I wouldn't say that I exactly rocked any of the poses, the practice as a whole just felt great.  The trouble is that I'm now so energized that I may be looking at another 3am bedtime.

Some parts were clearly not so good.  I couldn't hold balance in any of the Standing Head to Knee sets.  On the good side, when I am kicking out, I'm doing it pretty well, with a very solid standing leg.  Standing Bow was really great in one set, with almost perfect concentration.  But otherwise mediocre.  And Balancing Stick was just a struggle.  I was hopping around again.

Then the good stuff really started.  I almost grabbed my heels in Standing Separate Leg Forehead to Floor.  That's pretty huge for me, and I could feel my hips lifting as I rolled the weight forward.  Then Triangle was really strong with a good stretch across my chest.  It even earned a "beautiful" from Amy.  And I finished off the whole standing series just as strongly, with good stamina.

Floor series was pretty similar.  Back Strengthening, which has been so good recently, was middling at best.  The best I can say is that I really was trying hard in it, so that's fine.  Fixed Firm was better than its been in a while.  In second set, I was legitimately back on my elbows, with my feet pointed straight back, and my hips on the floor.  Half Tortoise felt really great, with a huge stretch in my shoulders.  And Rabbit is back to where it was a couple of weeks ago -- I'm feeling the stretch deep into the lower back again.

But the best thing was just how quickly the class flew by.  Basically, it felt like we started, were in Triangle, then in Locust and then we were done.  The energy in the room was great, and I was in one of those zones where time just doesn't seem to exist.  That happens so rarely, and when it does, it almost always goes together with a great experience.  And tonight was the same.  The other times when I've had the same type of experience come either when playing music and being really involved in it so that everything else just seems to vanish, or from time to time when I was a kid playing basketball and the team was just totally clicking together.  And now in yoga...

127/141

10:30 am with Lenette

I always enjoy Lenette's class.  Besides the fact that she was my first teacher, that she gave me the advice that cured my sciatica and then my knee, her classes always have a really nice balance of information, humor and motivation.  Today was no different, and it made for a very enjoyable class.

Balancing series was pretty good today.  I made it through 2 of the 4 parts in both Standing Head to Knee and Standing Bow.  The locking of my knee seems to be getting better and better.  I had a really good stretch going in Standing Bow, which I can really feel on the back of my standing leg.  And it just feels so good to actually be able to hold that pose.  

Balancing Stick was not quite so good.  I was hopping around a bit in the first set, which I almost never do.  I generally either get into the pose or fall out, but not hop.  On the plus side, I'm doing better at keeping my arms locked, and I can really feel it in my shoulders.

Lenette said I'm making real progress in Fixed Firm.  She said my foot alignment is much better than it used to be, and that as a result my ankles and tops of my feet are almost flat on the ground now.  It was really good to know that I'm on the right track here.

My knee has regressed slightly from jumping around with the dogs.  It's not a big deal, but a couple of days ago I felt absolutely great, and now I need to pay some attention to what I'm doing with it.  It's still way better than it was just two weeks ago, and a few more days of practice should work wonders.

126/140 Obama Wins

9:30 am with Connease

I don't have any political comments, but I'm typing this while listening to Obama's acceptance speech.  It's a pretty remarkable, and memorable, moment.

I took two days off in a row.  The first was deliberate; the second less so.  I felt really good both days, and yesterday I was bouncing around with the dogs, doing some jumping and hopping that I haven't done in months.  This morning, I felt a little popping in my knees, which means I might have pushed it just a little too hard.

Class was brutal.  It started at 98 degrees and 60% humidity, which wasn't so bad.  But it kept getting hotter and hotter.  By the end of standing series, it was 105 degrees and 50% humidity.  It was bad enough that I sneaked a peek.  And at the end of class it was 109 degrees and 41% humidity.  It was easily the hottest class I can remember.  The Zeb classes that I thought were crushing ended up at about 107 and 41%.

It's not that surprising that my stamina suffered --- a lot.  It was surprising, however, that I came out of the first forward bend a bit dizzy.  I was already gasping by the end of Awkward pose.  I thought about sitting out some of Eagle, because I was on the borderline with my breathing.  Then I finally lost it in the middle of Triangle, and ended up sitting out one set of Triangle, one set of Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee, and then one set of the Final Stretch.  And on top of that, I bailed out early on the third part of Locust, and in the first half of Rabbit.

After class, I was drained like I haven't been in a fairly long time.  And later in the afternoon, I had a slight headache, probably from dehydration.  When class is this hard, its difficult for me to evaluate individual poses.

I got a good correction in Fixed Firm.  Connease suggested that I spread my knees some to get my feet even straighter behind me.  That, she said, would ease up the torque on my knees some.  This is a point that I have often wondered about.  I know its preferable to have your knees together, but also acceptable to spread them if necessary.  The "if necessary" was the questionable part -- because it always seemed to me that it was never necessary.  Now I think I understand the necessity, which is a matter of alignment more than depth in the stretch.

125/137

9:30 am with Amy

A good tough class today.  The high point was Standing Head to Knee.  I made it through three of the four rounds without falling out, and almost made it through the fourth.  And I wasn't holding back on the kicking out either.  Then, to even things out, I fell out a bunch in Standing Bow.  But still, its showing progress.

The rest of class was pretty standard.  I was pushed just to the limit by the end of standing series, but still managed to hold it together and make it all the way through.  My knee felt really good, and I was tempted to try Toe Stand, but decided to hold off.  

The floor series zoomed by.  The temperature seemed perfect (and afterward Amy confirmed that it was perfect Bikram weather: 105 degrees and 40% humidity).  I was pretty well honed in to just listening to the dialogue and following along, without looking forward to anything or having my mind race around.  It's amazing how fast the class can seem to go, and how good it feels, when you can just keep your mind with your body. 

And the great feeling lasted the rest of the day.  My knee isn't bothering me at all.  In several places, I have that slight soreness that is so satisfying because instead of hurting, it just makes you feel connected to your body.  

124/136

10:30 am with Connease

Connease is our new teacher.  I like her because she said my second part of Awkward Pose was "beautiful."  She also had very good energy, gave what sounded like good corrections, and taught a very nice class.

The room was cold.  I think getting the heat right is just hard for new teachers.  They know the dialogue and the yoga, but every studio has its own HVAC system, and I guess they all have peculiarities.  Today, I wasn't the only one who thought it was too cold.  About 4 other regulars spoke up after class, and Connease said, in the future, just to speak up.  She also said if you think its too hot, you are on your own.  I liked that-- it shows a nice sense of humor.

She also said she's going to see Bikram tomorrow.  It turns out he's giving a seminar in Orlando and she's flying out for it.  I checked the Orlando studio website, and the seminar is basically all day, including a lecture a posture clinic, and a class.  It costs $200.  Someday....

Class was fine today.  First forward bend was a bit stiffer than yesterday.  I may have pushed a little too hard in my enthusiasm.  But I don't think I hurt anything.  Balancing series was pretty good.  I fell out of three parts of Standing Head to Knee, but Connease said she liked the way I was kicking out.  (Both times Connease complimented me today, I immediately fell out of the pose.  I understand it in the balancing pose, but I never fall out of Awkward.  I probably just felt so strange to get such a great compliment.)

Standing Bow was really good.  I almost made it through in each of the four sets.  But couldn't quite hold on at the end.  So I ended up falling out all four times, but it was still probably my best overall effort yet.  And Balancing Stick was pretty good.  I fell out once because the person next to me did, and the sudden motion threw me off.

The floor series was fine as well.  The only strange part was Rabbit.  In second set I came close to pulling something under my shoulderblade (right side).  I've never felt that big a stretch there before.  Rabbit was really going well a couple of weeks ago, and now I don't feel quite so deep into it as I was and I'm getting different stretching feeling than I used to.  I need to ask someone if I'm doing something wrong, or if what's going on is a kind of progress.

And I got a good correction in Locust.  I wasn't locking my legs enough in the single leg raises, and need to concentrate more on stretching back with them instead of lifting up.  These changes make the pose even harder, and I don't get as much lift, but I could really feel more in my leg and even in my back.  But that's just what I needed:  a way to make Locust even harder.

123/135

4:30 with Miranda

I went to the hot side of the class today and it kicked my butt.  There were only 10 in class, and they all set up near the windows.  I was all by my self on the other end.  When I looked in the mirrors, there was no-one beside me, no-one behind me, and I could barely see the others in my peripheral vision.

I was looking forward to that kind of isolation.  I thought it would be great for my focus.  But no dice.  I was middling at best in the balancing series.  I should have known better.  The distractions don't really come from the people around you, but from within.  And in a strange way, I think by eliminating all the people around me, I just put a stronger light on the internal stuff that was going to lead to distraction anyway.  Once again, I got through one of four tries in Standing Head to Knee and Standing Bow. 

Balancing Stick, however, has improved alot in the last few days.  I'm getting closer to a "T" and less like a broken umbrella.  I haven't fallen in several days, and I even come out of the pose in more or less the starting position.  In the past I have tended to fall back to the right as I came out of the pose.

The big thing today was the first forward bend.  I got my head to touch my shins for the first time, even if it was a bit of a push.  And I am very, very close to locking the knees.  Considering I could barely get into this pose when I was struggling with sciatica, this is an amazing improvement.  When the knees finally lock in this pose, maybe I should throw a party.

Fixed firm was good today as well.  In the second set, I allowed myself to spread my knees some, and the hips went down to the floor pretty easily.  I went back onto my elbows and even started inching back from there.  My knee didn't scream, and the pose felt pretty good.

On the negative side (maybe), the heat kicked my butt.  I almost sat out a set of Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee.  And I think my pulse, at least in my ears, was pounding at about 200 beats a minute, like Gene Krupa playing in my head (or maybe its more appropriate to say it was like Wipe Out playing in my head?)  But I made it.  Now I need to think about whether its better to take my usual spot, where I usually feel strong and on top of things, or whether its better to be in the spot that is more challenging.  I don't have a scientific answer for that, but I can see good aspects to both.

122/134

4:30 pm with Miranda

Today, I thought the room was too cold again.  In the floor series, I saw Miranda repeatedly go to the controls, and I thought she was trying to get things warmer, and it did seem to be getting a little warmer.  Then, after Rabbit, she opened the door to the lobby and said she was giving us a treat because no matter how much she tried to turn the heat down, it just kept getting hotter.  So I guess my class was stronger than I thought -- at least the heat was obviously no obstacle.

The first set of the balancing series was terrible.  I fell out four times on one side.  As soon as I lifted my foot up, my weight would shift to the outside edge of my standing foot.  And I couldn't bring it together.  Second set was much better.  I managed to hold the full length on the right side, and did pretty well on the left after falling out once at the very beginning.  After that, my focus returned, and I did OK in both Standing Bow and Balancing Stick.  I still only made it all the way through one of the four tries in Standing Bow, but at least I felt like I was working through the poses.

I seem to have hit a new level in Awkward Pose.  In the second part, I'm finally all the way down in the chair, while keeping my back straight.  I still have a ways to go to get all the way up on my toes, but otherwise the second part is looking good.  The first part has been pretty good for a while.  And I'm not feeling limited by my knee in the third part anymore.

The floor series was pretty standard.  It occurred to me today that I still have a lingering fear of Locust, even though its been a while since the pose has caused me any real trouble.  I haven't spit up for a while, and I don't fall out of it very often at all any more (and for some reason, I never seem to fall out of it in Miranda's class).   Locust still gets my heart zooming, and its not easy at all.  But it is a pretty satisfying pose these days.  That makes me wonder when I will start looking forward to it as it now actually is, instead of as the dreaded monster that it was for several months.

121/132

4:30 pm with Miranda

Something was wrong with the heat today.  At the start of class, the room was 87 degrees and 51% humidity.  By the end, it got up almost to 102, with 46% humidity.  Most of the time, it felt cold, and that had some interesting effects.

Of course, flexibility was a bit off, and I could really feel that in Fixed Firm, Camel, Rabbit, and some of the stretchy poses.  That's to be expected.  One of the selling points of the heat is that it makes you more limber.

As an odd benefit, I found the balancing poses much easier to do in the relative cold.  I held two full periods out of the four total in both Standing Head to Knee and Standing Bow.  And I had no trouble at all holding, and even pushing, Balancing Stick.  I had not been all that aware before how much the heat adds to the challenge of these poses.  It makes some sense:  there is a mental aspect to dealing with the heat, and I can see how that might make it harder to keep focused like you need to for these poses.

The other benefit, if it is a benefit, is that a strength pose, like Awkward, seems so much easier in the cold.  Same thing with the entire balancing series.  I felt like I did all of these really well.  But then, it was cold, so its kind of a cheat.

Afterward, I'm feeling a little bit weird in both of my knees.  They aren't hurt, but they are a little sore.  That may be from pushing the stretches too hard under the colder conditions, and its definitely something I will have to mind tomorrow.

120/131

Sat. 9:30 am with Amy

Sun. 2:30 pm with Miranda

Saturday's class was really hard.  For the first time in months, I think, I had to sit out one of the postures.  We came out of the first half of Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee, and I couldn't keep my breath.  I was gasping some through my mouth, and in keeping with the new rules I set for myself, I went to my knees until I had my breath back and could give the pose my all.

Not being able to make it was weird for me now.  On the bright side, it means I'm still capable of pushing my self to the outer edge.  And I didn't blame myself too much for it.  Maybe I'm getting a little better about accepting each day for what it is.

After class I asked Amy about the humidity.  She said that the humidifier didn't kick on until sometime in the floor series.  When class started, the room was under 100 degrees, but with over 50% humidity.  And all of the humidity was just from the natural conditions.  She kicked up the heat to draw some of the water out of the air, but she insisted that it never went over 105.  Maybe so, but it felt really hot.

By the end of the class, it was perfect Bikram weather, and I was doing really well again.  So while the end of the standing series was really hard, the floor series was good.

And since I'm starting to keep score, my balancing series was fair at best.  I made it through a second set of Head to Knee and Bow without falling, on the right side only.  And I made it through one full set without falling in Balancing Stick.  I've got a long way to go to hit my goals in this series.  It should be interesting.

Which brings us to this afternoon's class.  I set up in the back row.  It makes a huge difference in the balancing series for me, and not for the better.  I fell out alot.  I think I made one side of one set in Standing Bow, and that was it.  On my left leg, I was falling to the outside continually.  It's much harder to focus on a single point in the mirror from the back row, and there seems to be alot more peripheral distraction.  But I'm thinking that the difficulties could also provide an opportunity.  I'm going to set up in the back a bit more regularly, on the theory that if I learn to focus there, it will increase my ability to focus more generally.

Miranda helped out today in a couple of poses, and it was great.  She pushed really hard in Wind Relieving, and was giving her general instructions to me specifically as well.  I got my knee much closer to my shoulder than I have before, and in the third part, I could really feel something opening up in my back.

Then she helped out in one set of the final stretch.  This was a bit scary, because I don't know how aware she is of the knee problem I've had.  After pulling out on my legs in the stretch pose, she whispered "I had to hold back a little so I wouldn't break your legs."  Nice to know that she was thinking the same thing I was.

Fixed Firm was good today.  I got down on my elbows in the second set with no pain.  Once again, I think Lenette's advice has worked wonders here.  She said I had a tendancy to let my left toes point too much to the outside, and I really needed to work on getting the toes of both feet pointing straight back, as much as possible.  This has made a world of difference in how the pose feels, and I'm getting much more of a stretch in the ankles and feet.  It's still slow going, but it seems like the foundation I will end up with should be much more secure.

The other thing I noticed about the back row is how different the eye directions can be here.  I'm pretty used to my eyes reaching certain points on the floor, or ceiling, or mirror, or wall, depending on the postures.  And I've tended to use those points as a measure of my progress.  Moving to the back room messes with that frame of reference, and that is also probably a good thing.  My guess is that I pushed myself a little harder today in some poses, because I didn't know what the usual end point was.  That is yet another reason for moving around in the room, and one I had not thought of before.

118/129

4:30 pm Thursday with Miranda;  No Yoga Today

I missed blogging yesterday, but not class.  Today I'm setting the balance even, by missing class but catching up on the blog.

Yesterday's class was basically perfect.  I felt good throughout, had no problems from any of my little nagging injuries.  I went in feeling good and came out feeling better. 

 I had really good focus in the balancing series.  By the way, I think that is what I'm going to focus on for the near future.  My goal is going to be to get through the entire balancing series without falling, while pushing it, and then to do that for at least three classes in a row.  I think that's going to be more of a challenge than my 60 or 100 days.  It will probably take longer too.

Today, I felt really good all day.  I didn't make it to class because of one of those 1-5 pm repair calls.  The repairman said he would come sometime after 1 pm.  And I guess 4:30 is sometime after one.  So is Sunday, for that matter.  Anyway, my hips were talking to me some during the afternoon, so I guess a day off isn't all bad.  Now I'm really looking forward to tomorrow morning's class.

117/127

4:30 with Miranda

I need to learn to shut out the people practicing nearby.  Today I was next to a guy who started just around the same time that I did.  He's in his twenties, in decent shape, and has probably been going to class 4-5 times a week.  I've noticed before that in Half Moon he tends to drop his arms alot, like maybe 6 times in the first set alone.  For some reason, this habit of his draws my attention to him.  I want to take him aside and tell him that he should just focus on keeping his arms raised high and stretching up and locking the elbows.  Anything further that he does would just be a bonus.  But I don't know how to approach him about this.  The teachers haven't said anything to him that I know about, so I'm probably just being too picky.

And today, in every Savasana, he was wiping his forehead, adjusting his hair, taking a drink, and it was just so busy.  Again, I wanted to say something, but I'm afraid he would take it the wrong way.  It's just that his practice would really start to open up, I think, if he just settled down.  On the other hand, its not really much of my business, unless he asks me, and I really would be much better off if I could just bring myself not to notice on it (or maybe to notice it but not to think about it so much).

Practice was about average.  My knee feels much better, and I'm pushing harder on the poses where it was causing problems before.  The only time it feels at all weird now is coming up from the third part of awkward pose.  There's a sort of pop as I come up that is definitely not right, but even that is getting better.  Fixed Firm is still a ways away from where it was, but that's just a matter of time.

The odd thing now is that the practices feel good, and I feel great after them.  I'm probably making progress, but its not all that noticeable -- certainly not on a day by day basis.  The challenge has basically ended.  So now I have to come up with something (or maybe I don't) that will allow me to take the practice to still another new level.  I'm not sure what that is yet, but I think I'm going to explore some ideas in the next few days.  One idea, of course, is not to push things and let the practice evolve naturally for a while.  That sort of goes against my nature, but its probably worth considering.