I think Gates gives a good description here, and it may help me to understand what happened. And he's basically saying that renunciation either feels right, or it is impossible. For it to feel right, the groundwork must be paved beforehand. But he doesn't address here how you pave the way. So in the end, he seems to be describing a process much like a dog losing its puppy teeth: the adult teeth are already there underneath the lost teeth. Or like a butterfly shedding its cocoon. The description is fine, but for some reason I don't see the power in this passage that he seems to think is there.